A loose transcription of James' low that happened today:

"Can you help me?....small ears.."

(I laugh)

"You look like a devil or something"

(I start writing these down)

"Can you not use that pen, I was going to use it"

-Long pause-

"I was gonna say just 'cos you've got frog's tents on your arms, doesn't mean you can't get me something sweet...but then I realised it doesn't make sense"

(We both laugh)

"Yeah, bull frogs. A bull frog tent design on your upper arm...shoulder"

"My head's swaying"

(I tell James that if he wants help he's going to have to be quiet so I can stop writing)

"But if I can't complain you won't know the pain"

(I laugh and tell him that rhymed)

-Long pause-

"If I'm quiet I might end up on a diet"

"I don't feel well and no one cares"

Hangovers and hypos don't mix

A few weeks ago I arrived at James' house, happy to see him. I was greeted at the door by a hunchback in his pants. James lives on a busy road.

After walking upstairs James crawled into bed. The curtains were closed and there were biscuit crumbs, bottles of Lucozade and a half-eaten, congealed bowl of cereal on the desk. Something wasn't right.

So it emerges James has been being sick all day and that I need to look after him. Normally, I do pity him and get him water etc etc but this day, something felt different. I guess I just wondered 'what would happen if I left him to his own devices?' What happened was James got the most...not hysterical..what's the word I'm looking for. Agitated. He became the most agitated I've ever seen him! It was funny up until he said "I wish you hadn't come", crawling on his hands and knees to the bathroom. I left him in there for a couple of minutes, and he started to pine my name. I sat down outside his room, which is where the photo is taken from. He said 'I immediately feel calmer now you're sitting down and being nice to me and not horrible'. James tends to hit a certain point when he gets low blood sugar. A point where I suddenly get the blame for his lack of recovery. If it wasn't so damn funny I don't think we would be together still.

On a low note, this is the closest I've ever come to taking James to hospital...

Quote of the Day:

"I keep getting the cockles in my face. And by cockles I mean smoke"

What is it? Is it the tray? Take it off me!

I don't even think James was affected by his diabetes when this happened, he was however being very lazy when I wanted to go out, so a quick game of 'piling things on top of him' occurred. He sometimes reminds me of one of these dogs, and an old one at that.

That's because he's bumbly, and will let you do anything to him with little complaint. Not that I know that's what these dogs are like, I've never actually met one. Anyway, I digress!

Here James tries to get up, but he thinks I've put a tray with glasses on, on him. He's shouting at me to take it off, but I won't.

A face appears.

Quote of the Day:

"Do you ever get so tired that you...wish that you could just wet yourself?"

Because Blogger is shit..

..and always sets the latest post first, this tale of "low woe" is in reverse order. Either click on "It's been a while" and make your way up, or just scroll down to about one third of the way down this page to start the story....

The aftermath.

Seeing this in the bed sheets once James had left broke my heart..I had no idea he'd tried to claw into the clementine! This must've been when I'd gone downstairs to get the honey and hobnobs.

Stage 7. "I kind of feel like hot and cold"

James starts spreading honey on the hobnobs. He offers one to me "Would you like a honey hobnob? It's like mince pie with brandy butter *he eats one* I'd buy that. I'd definitely buy that.."

After about 4 of these I tell James not to overcompensate on the low blood sugar. The low dissipates and James can finally leave the bed.

Stage 6. Begging.

The honey has crystallised. James keeps repeating the words 'crystallised' and 'crystalline'. He realises he now needs a knife to get to the honey. "Please! Pass me a knife..*gasps and gets a knife out of his rucksack* I found it on the floor, it's probably better to use this one *talking about an eggy knife from breakfast, still in the room* Let's get it over with *James licks knife to try and get it clean* It's got tom sauce".

By now I have a pen and paper, writing down everything James is saying. He begins to beg me to wash his knife, offering me at first £1, then £2. I tell him he'll have to stop talking because everything he says is making me laugh.

I go and wash the knife.

Stage 5. I get him some hobnobs and a pot of squeezy honey. On attempting to open the honey, James exclaims "Ow! My cuticle. There's not much cute about a cuticle". Obviously this makes me laugh, to which James replies "Stop laughing, it's like a clown". He also tells me that I will make him cry by continuing to take photos.

Low blood sugar makes James paranoid and slightly delirious. This is why he comes out with some real gems.

"Oh..you sort out the blood sugar and everything else just falls into place" At the best of times James likes to talk for the sake of talking, but here is a prime example.

Stage 4. Realising he hasn't got enough energy to peel the clementine, I give him a sachet of sugar. This seems to go down well. After this I hand him some dextrose tablets. James says "Dextrose, hello my old friend. I haven't had one of these for ages...probably rancid".

Stage 3. He picks up the clementine, and places it on his head.

Stage 2. He emerges from the bed covers, there is a frown, but also a smile in there somewhere. I have given him a clementine to raise his blood sugar.

It's been a while..

..since I last saw James have a low like yesterday. Normally because I'm either not with him when he has one, or it's in the middle of the night and I'm asleep/half asleep and can't be bothered to wake up and get the camera. Yesterday's low was one of the funniest I've ever seen. It happened mid afternoon, and James had a blood sugar of 2.3 (between 4 and 10 is considered healthy).

I apologise now for the quality of the photos as they were taken with my phone. To the left is a photo of when James has just done a blood test and realises he's very low. From what I could hear James said "I'm gonna..well I don't know wha...I don'...any sugar in the house"

Stage 1. Denial and Avoidance.

Just a quick James quote. Guess what it's about:

"I'd love to rub him up and down. I'd like to dry him with a towel. If he was wet, or even if he was dry"

Answer will follow...