A loose transcription of James' low that happened today:

"Can you help me?....small ears.."

(I laugh)

"You look like a devil or something"

(I start writing these down)

"Can you not use that pen, I was going to use it"

-Long pause-

"I was gonna say just 'cos you've got frog's tents on your arms, doesn't mean you can't get me something sweet...but then I realised it doesn't make sense"

(We both laugh)

"Yeah, bull frogs. A bull frog tent design on your upper arm...shoulder"

"My head's swaying"

(I tell James that if he wants help he's going to have to be quiet so I can stop writing)

"But if I can't complain you won't know the pain"

(I laugh and tell him that rhymed)

-Long pause-

"If I'm quiet I might end up on a diet"

"I don't feel well and no one cares"

Hangovers and hypos don't mix

A few weeks ago I arrived at James' house, happy to see him. I was greeted at the door by a hunchback in his pants. James lives on a busy road.

After walking upstairs James crawled into bed. The curtains were closed and there were biscuit crumbs, bottles of Lucozade and a half-eaten, congealed bowl of cereal on the desk. Something wasn't right.

So it emerges James has been being sick all day and that I need to look after him. Normally, I do pity him and get him water etc etc but this day, something felt different. I guess I just wondered 'what would happen if I left him to his own devices?' What happened was James got the most...not hysterical..what's the word I'm looking for. Agitated. He became the most agitated I've ever seen him! It was funny up until he said "I wish you hadn't come", crawling on his hands and knees to the bathroom. I left him in there for a couple of minutes, and he started to pine my name. I sat down outside his room, which is where the photo is taken from. He said 'I immediately feel calmer now you're sitting down and being nice to me and not horrible'. James tends to hit a certain point when he gets low blood sugar. A point where I suddenly get the blame for his lack of recovery. If it wasn't so damn funny I don't think we would be together still.

On a low note, this is the closest I've ever come to taking James to hospital...

Quote of the Day:

"I keep getting the cockles in my face. And by cockles I mean smoke"